August Summary

Warning: Ridiculously LONG post!!!

i.e. the one where I explain what's going on in my head, rather than what I'm putting in my face.

Pretty good first month.  I feel pretty happy with the results and pretty confident I can continue.  At this point, it feels virtually effortless.  Having the food provided is 90% of the game for me.  I like the food and don't feel tempted to eat excessively at fast food places when I have good food waiting for me at home.  I already feel like the meals are changing my portion and food selection habits.  I know losing will get harder.  For now, I'm just enjoying the fact that it's been pretty easy.  (Please don't let that jinx me!)  The other 10% of the effort has been a mix of staying prepared with snacks/water and tracking a variety of stats. 

August Stats

Goal Tally

$ at grocery = $45, planned $20

$ at restaurant = $111, planned $80

fast food trips = 0, planned 2

pounds lost = 21, planned 10

walking days = 3, planned 20

I didn't include in my goals anything about drinking water, but it happened anyways.  I didn't really even think about it, but I've had less than 5 sodas this entire month.  I can think of days past where I've had 5 sodas in a day.  I've been prepping and taking water bottles to school and carrying one with me at all times.  This water thing has been a big, though unintended, step.  As for the planned goals, I'm actually prouder of the lack of fast food trips than the extra 10 pounds lost!  This is a HUGE change for me.  In fact, though french fries still sound amazing, a burger sounds eh, kinda greasy...  I considered stopping one afternoon to get a plain burger because I'd forgotten my lunch, but it didn't even sound that good.  Plus, I didn't want to have to include that one trip in the tally. 

The monthly tally has actually helped modify my behavior a lot.  I don't eat or spend without thinking about how it will look on the site.  I eventually started to really think about the money I was spending because I didn't want to have to post it in the tally.  I don't feel bad about the extra money I spent in August because I didn't spend it without thinking about it first.  Also, the goals were pretty arbitrary numbers.  Ultimately, I know that I'm going to be spending extra on food - the Bistro plan is not cheap - but it's totally worth it at this point.  I can see that in the future I may be able to skip a delivery here or there since I already have a number of unused meals stored up.  I do worry about maintaining weight loss after I quit having meals delivered (look at me, already planning for failure when i haven't even lost the weight yet.  That's another symptom of the perfectionism that keeps me from even trying.).  But I realized today that I don't have to get food every single week.  I could get 1-2 boxes a month for awhile and work around them.  I feel better knowing that that's an option - I don't have to stop cold turkey.

The first month has been sort of like a science experiment for me.  I've been posting religiously about what I eat each day, and this has been incredibly helpful.  I've tried to keep food diaries in the past, but it's working better this time for two reasons.  One is that the Bistro food comes with nutrition info, I don't have to spend a lot of time weighing and looking up foods.  Second, keeping track online is very helpful.  I can access it anywhere and I know there's a possibility that someone is reading it.  Keeps me more accountable. 

Going back to the science experiment, I also have Excel charts that track current weight and predicts future weight loss.  I'm aiming for a 1% loss each week until I get to 200lb, then I dropped to 0.5%.  This represents a 2+ pound loss per week for a while, then 1 pound a week after that.  I think this is incredibly reasonable.  I don't want to lose too fast and I wanted to be accepting of the fact that I might have a setback or two.  This isn't failure.  Not unless I let it completely derail me.  My ultimate goal is to reach goal weight of 175lb by the end of 2011.  I picked 175lb because it puts me just on the right side of "normal" for the BMI.  I reserve the right to change it in the future when I can better see what 175lb looks/feels like.  :D  It's been motivating to look at the charts and see what weight I plan to be at for different events or times of the year. 

Also, I've been tracking my daily calorie count and creating a monthly average to follow too.  I want the individual days to bounce around a little.  I don't want my body to think it's going to get exactly 1450cal every single day.  The days bounce around from 1200 to 1600.  I've been aiming to keep my overall average for the month around 1600 cal.  This accounts for the fact that there were 5-6 days that were high, a couple were WAY high.  All involved going out with friends/family and seem to fit into the schedule okay, for now.  The average for all the "good" days is around 1450cal.  When I see the aggregate average start to trend up, I can adjust the next few days and get it back down.  It may seem like I've been spending TONS of time on this, but really it hasn't felt like it.  It may be a bit obsessive, but maybe that's what I need to be right now.  It isn't going to happen on it's own.  Not for me.  Besides, I've just been watching less TV!  Actually, that's TOTALLY true.  :D  And I find that I'm more mindful of the food when I'm writing about it in front of the computer, than when I'm eating in front of the TV.

September Goals:

I need to start exercising more.  At this point, it's not about burning calories.  In fact, I'd have to eat a bit more to balance out the burned calories in order to stay at around 1500 calorie net.  I do however recognize that there are other benefits to exercising.  Healthwise, I know it makes a huge difference to blood pressure and cholesterol.  I also vainly hope that exercising now will help my body recover better from losing so much weight.  Additionally, part of why it's so important to me to lose weight is so I can actually do more stuff.  Being thinner, but still out of shape won't cut it. So September will be a month of baby-step exercising. I have to get over the idea that it's not worth walking a mile because "it's just a mile." This is a HUGE step in correcting my personal mindset that avoids "maintenance" activities.  I've always preferred to do big things all at once; I like to see BIG changes.  I think it's an instant gratification thing.  I write papers all at once, I clean in big swooping stabs, I read books from start to finish in days (sometimes hours).  I always marvel at magazine articles that promise things are sooo easy if you just do 15 minutes of x each day.  I have to learn to perform scheduled activities that promote maintenance, rather than a panicked big fix.  If I only walk a mile in a day - it's still worth doing - it's still better than nothing.  So that's the plan - one mile a day, 5 days a week.  Goal is 20 miles for September.  If I beat that, great, but 20 miles is a definite, attainable minimum.  It's a must-do.